Some lessons require visiting hours

A while back I went through a lovers phone. I was certain he was emotionally cheating on me. I was wrong. I did however realize that he had formed deeper connections with other women, which instantly crushed me. It did matter that he had know these women longer than me. It did not matter that he and these women built rapport with each other, or even that they had history. I was devastated. When I came out of my emotional turmoil, I realized the impact of my actions. I had to confess to this person that I had betrayed his trust. I was sorry. Uttering the words to him felt insufficient. I couldn’t undo what I did. We did what most people do, tried to move on and act as if we were unaffected by it. I could tell months later, he still had some resentment towards me for violating his trust. I still had resentment towards him.

That’s the thing about emotions, they’re never rational. That day was a teaching moment for me. As much as I prided myself on being a logical, empathetic person. I, too, allowed my emotions to cloud my judgement and hurt those close to me. I would revisit that lesson many times.